Moments that last

Every year, Thanksgiving in the US is lavishly celebrated with friends, family and with a big feast. It might have a complicated history but the modern intention is to think of those we owe thanks to and express gratitude.It is a joyous moment to brighten up every soul. 

But sometimes life's joyous moments show up in mysterious ways when least expected. 

I remember a long time ago, on a cold winter evening in Delhi we were driving back home and the roads were foggy and crowded. As I cozily settled in the back seat, covered with many layers of woolen clothing, I noticed a barely clothed teenage boy holding bunches of roses trying to sell them to cars passing through this dimly lit street, I brought out some money from my purse and handed it over to my husband in the front seat and asked him to buy some flowers from that boy. He lowered the window, bought some, and handed over to me to the back.

We drove on and would have forgotten about that insignificant event, had it not been for what happened at the next stop light. As soon our car stopped at the next red light, the same boy showed up at the window, having run from the last stop light to this one. He had noticed that the decision to buy the flowers was made by me in the back of the car and he wanted to thank me  for the purchase but the light changed and we drove off. He made a calculation that saying thanks was more important than making the next sale to the next set of cars. He ran, caught up to our car at the next light and showed up with a big smile and a Namaste with folded hands to say thank you!

I was amazed by his gratitude and thoughtfulness and the calculation he made - that for this boy living in poverty, expressing his gratitude was worth more than making the next sale. Barely clothed in the cold, dark night selling roses to survive, he was a twinkling star in the dark night of today's transactional world. 

I was blessed with many such experiences in my life that long remain in my memory like the fragrance of wild flowers and still bring a smile to my now wrinkled face.  

Universal truths from universal men

It is amazing to see how life unfolds in silence. Sunlight helps plants to grow, bear fruit and flowers. Rivers flow, carving through land and making them fertile on both its sides. Animals and plants each have a role within the ecosystem. But the purpose of human life on earth remains a mystery, though it has been interpreted differently by different cultures 

All animals learn through observation of their parents and the herd and information is absorbed through the act of participating in life. In humans though, education is largely seen as a process of information being imparted through books and words. But as every parent knows, you teach children more by doing than by saying what to do and what not to. In ancient India though, the Gurukul system of education in the Vedic era (before 5000 B.C) was based on total immersion when the student actually lived in the school and learned not just through information from but observation of the teacher.  Information is given but the learning happens in silence. To be moulded in the image of the parent or the teacher it needs more than words so children can absorb the nutrients and process them in silence to blossom fully - not just to understand the rules, but to internalize ethical basis of their parent or teacher and know right from wrong when there is no sign-post. So while residing in Guru’s Ashram,  they learnt to be helpful to each other, they grew up  to understand what it is to be dignified, self reliant, and responsible citizens. That made them good human beings and good house holders as well, not just technically legally compliant citizens.

This scenario changed drastically when the Britishers invaded this country. They brought new education system, which while it had many new topics, was dependent on bookish knowledge and though it brought many new ideas, it was designed to make people faithful and obedient to them and who's greatest ambition in life would become to secure a life-long job in government. And that hasn't changed over the last two hundred years. It never aimed to make great saints, philosophers, intellectuals or social reformists - and yet they emerged because of the historic fabric of the traditional systems of education that are so part of the Indian culture itself. 

Two such people were Tagore and Gandhi - Tagore who was a Nobel laureate poet, focused on undoing the clerical structure of education to bring back the native Bengali love of free thinking, poetry and the liberal arts and recreated the traditional educational system in my hometown called Shantiniketan (literally translates to 'abode of peace'). Life and education was experienced alike with 'classes' held under a tree where the curriculum was defined more by nature and desire of young minds than by a textbook driven curriculum. Tagore was a universal man deeply rooted to Indian cultures and his vision of India was as a multicultural land, and  he wrote, “The doors have opened in the west. All shall give and take, mingle  and mingled in, none shall depart.  dejected, from the shore of the sea of. Bharat’s great harmony.”

Gandhi, who was himself a British educated lawyer, focused on self-reliance and the dignity and respect of manual labor in a world that respected paper more than cloth. He taught people to weave their own cloth so they would not be dependent on British clothes and on led salt marches to the oceans as a symbolic gesture of self-reliance on the most basic of elements in food - salt. Through Swadeshi (self-ruled) movement, he encouraged people to use locally made products. Gandhi grew up in the world of books and laws yet saw the world through the lens of agriculture and labor and while he thoroughly understood the western mind and educational system, having studied law in England and worked as a lawyer in South Africa, but he was deeply rooted to the Indian way. He said, “I want the cultures of all lands to be blown about my house as freely as possible. But I refuse to be blown off my feet by any “. 

Perhaps the core beliefs of these two greats sons of India are as relevant today for the world as they were for India under the British.

Life is a divine romance

The longer I live the more life feels like a river - one that flows through varied terrain, adapting to it, frothing and calm, to finally empty out in the infinite ocean.

Every life has two realities - an outer and inner one. Our outer reality consists of our physical body, relationships with people, nature and circumstance, that are all visible through our senses and we react and manage them the best we can through life. The other reality is our inner one, invisible to others, that motivates us with new thoughts and ideas that form our lived experience and forms the spirit of an individual being - human or animal. That spirit is like an unseen yet powerful seed that bears fruit. The seed which cannot be seen, but the fruit of which is quite different from tree to tree. Though our physical and mental abilities may have much to do with our genetics and inherited traits, the self selected nature of our spirit is ultimately what shapes our inner life and our experience, which often overcome the limitations of our inherited traits. 

Just as our outer physical health depends greatly on our food habits, the environment, and activities, our inner health depends on the thoughts we create and consume, the environment we keep within ourself and the projections we make of life. Just as green vegetables, fruits, nuts, cereals are the diet of a healthy outer body, empathy, compassion, calmness, and sincere inquiry are the diet of a healthy inner body. These mental orientations are the protein, vitamins and minerals that define the shape of our soul. Just as we take in fluids to keep the body well hydrated, we must also have the daily practice of achieving a state of flow, where the mind isn't encumbered with problems and solutions but just is. That is the hydration of the spirit so it doesn't dry up. To spend time in nature is good for both outer and inner body. To feel the soil under our feet and immerse in water are all activities with dual purpose benefits. When we walk barefoot, we practice something we've done as a species for fifty thousand years while staring at computers and televisions is what we've done for fifty. The memory of the body continues - from our ancestors to our great grand children and beyond. Positive socialisation, mental challenges through  brain games in old age are also activities that can achieve a state of flow, where we forget ourselves and immerse in an activity that dissolves us temporarily. The dissolution of the self is not just to be reserved for the final moment, it is to be practiced everyday.

In today’s world, challenges are many. People are forced to stay in the middle of concrete jungles. Noise pollution, junk food and addiction to mobile phones and negative socialisation on social media has significantly damaged our life . Negative  emotions like  anxiety, irritations, anger, and greed are commonly seen at every age.This can be controlled by the practice of deep breathing, meditation and experiences in nature that help cleanse the mind and overcome being stuck in negative states. For the mind to be calm, focused and cheerful is a natural state, if only not messed up by the negative interventions of modern living. It is better to start early in life, so that later life can be handled better without when physical ailments are bound to arrive. At any age, life can be changed for the better only by will power. It is truly said that, the magic method of working without fatigue lies in the use of will power. With will power, we  learn to use time effectively, can pursue creative hobbies like writing, painting, learning a new skill, or rendering selfless service to others. An attitude of gratitude must be practiced all through life. We must be grateful for what we have, like we can talk, walk, breathe, which many cannot do. Golden words of Paramhansa Yogananda  are truly inspiring for all. He said, “The soul must rule the body, because the soul is neither caused by nor dependent on the body .”( Divine Romance)

A priceless exchange

I remember, it was the year 1945, when Mahatma Gandhi visited Tagore’s Santiniketan, for a short time. That time the whole nation was burning with the fire of freedom movement.

Though Tagore passed away in 1941, still Gandhi with his great respect for Tagore, visited Santiniketan many times, to be drenched in peace. His visit in 1945 was for a short duration, because he was actively involved with the freedom movement of India. 
At the time I was six years old, and was unable to understand the gravity of the freedom movement and did not know the situation our country was passing through. But I felt the whole environment charged with some positive energy and momentum. 
I remember my mind being fascinated by the one thing that captured my imagination the most - small little hand held national flags, affixed on thin popsicle straws that held deliciously sweet and colorful liquid treats. And they were being sold everywhere. I was much attracted to it, and had to have one. So after getting some insignificant sum of coins from my mother, I rushed out to get one for myself.

On the way to the popsicle stand, my attention got diverted to a huge crowd that was proceeding towards an unknown destination. I was too curious not to know what that attraction was about and started following them while keeping my precious coins secure within my tight grasp. As I flowed with that stream of people, I finally reached a large opening - one I was quite familiar with as it was the prestigious grounds, called Gour Prangan, (named by Tagore in honor of my late father Gour Gopal Ghosh, who was very dear to him and also a famous football player of the Mohan Bagan team of Bengal). 

 
I stood surrounded by a huge gathering and found myself peering through the crowd at a frail little man, wearing a loin cloth, holding a donation box in his outstretched hand. And people where people pushing through the throng to put money into it with much enthusiasm and reverence. I was quite inspired by this collective energy and holding my coins tight in my hand, pushed  through the crowd like a small rat, and emerged at the forefront to find myself face to face with him.  I happily dropped my few precious coins in Gandhiji’s donation box. It must've been a moment of some amusement to Gandhiji  to receive perhaps the smallest donation of the day from the smallest donor - a tiny five year old girl. Turning towards me,  he bent a little, and gave me a smile that remains vividly etched in my  memory even today . That smile had magic and divinity beneath it, which still inspires me in my ripe old age.  A priceless gift for a few annas (pennies).Today when I think back at how significant that moment was, for me, for India and for the world, I'm amazed at how little we understand of what matters most till we look back.

The moments that last

Sometimes  very insignificant  things can turn out to be a significant source of satisfaction in life. These moments remain in our memory like a fragrance of a distant wild flower and bring with it a sweetness that remains. 

Long back, when my elder son left for higher studies in America, and our younger son was equally busy with his multiple creative activities, and was away from home for long periods of time, I felt little lonely. I decided to overcome my empty nest syndrome by keeping myself happily busy with other kids. I was lucky to get a part time  teaching job in a nearby school under Delhi University.

It was a cold day in the month of December, returning from the school, I felt the icy winds piercing through my three layers of woollen clothing and was touching my bones. I was shivering like a dry leaf in the winter wind and quickly got into a cycle rickshaw , and asked the young driver to take me to my home.
As I settled down, I noticed the young driver (who was my son’s age) who was quite cheerful and confident, had just a thin cotton shawl as his winter wear. 

Upon reaching home, I asked the boy to wait a little. I went inside, opened the cupboard of my son, where his winter blazer was hanging beautifully. I took it out, brought it to the boy, and asked him to put it on. I was surprised to notice that though he took it  with a faint smile of gratitude, he didn't put it on, and silently looked on with a downward gaze. When I insisted that he try it on, he relented, took off his cotton shawl and threw the blazer around his neck and shoulder. It was then that I noticed that the boy had just one arm. He purposely covered his upper body with a loose shawl to hide his disability from the public eye should customers not pick him over others. I was moved to see that without asking for a help or or pity from others, this brave boy faced the challenges of life with dignity and courage. I was touched by his spirit, and we parted with a smile shared and a wish of good luck in life.Often such insignificant encounters, smiles of courage, kindness and gratitude, like twinkling stars  brighten up our life’s journey, stays in our memory and like a fragrance, appears and disappears, but never gets lost.

On a river that flows

Varanasi ( Benaras or Kashi) is known as one of the oldest living cities in the world. As American author, Mark Twain commented, “ Benaras is older than history and tradition, older than legend and looks twice as old as all of them put together.” 
This city, situated on the banks of river Ganga, is known as the abode of Lord Shiva. All through the year, the city is throbbing with religious and cultural activities. Tourists come there to taste unique cuisines, to buy famous Benarasi silk sarees, and other handicrafts.
Along the side of the river there are 84 ghats, most of which are for puja ceremonies and bathing purposes and are tourist attractions with the exception of two - Manikarnika and Harish Chandra, which are reserved for last rights and cremation. Whenever I had the chance to visit this holy city, I never missed it, and in every visit, I was gifted with a new insight.
Once while accompanying my husband for a seminar there, I was asked by our friends to join them to see evening Ganga Arti (a holy fire ritual) at “ Dashashwamedh “ ghat, which draws thousands of people all through the year.
 As we reached there, we saw a dozen of young boys, dressed up in traditional costumes, standing on high platforms doing Aarti - a graceful movement of traditional lamps with flames moving through the air in circular patterns - there were a multitude of them with all eyes focused on them while Sanskrit slokas were being chanted in the background. It was indeed an overwhelming experience and felt like I was transported to a different realm and a collective blessing was upon us all.

Below the ghat, tourists boats were waiting to take passengers, along the side of the river banks, as if they wanted to make us experience the full circle of life through that boat journey. We stepped down through the stairs and got into a boat, which was already full with passengers. Splashing sounds of the waves all around mixed mystically with the chanting and lights on the ghat above and made my mind more receptive to experience something new and unknown.
As our boat started moving towards Harish Chandra ghat in the fading twilight and sound receding into stillness, a. peaceful darkness engulfed us with nothing finite to hold on to. From a distance, we saw a sliver of a flame from an almost burnt out pyre, with all that was left of a life were embers glowing in the dark and a thin line of smoke dissolving into the night air. I noticed a solitary dog quenching his thirst at the river bank. In that moment, the whole environment whispered the truth of life’s journey - its impermanence, and its appearance and disappearance from eternity to eternity. As we can not hold back light, air or sound, we cannot hold back life. Only by enriching every moment with love and good deeds, one can make life meaningful. I remembered few beautiful lines uttered by the Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh,” It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent, when they are not. “

The world needs a nest

Every year 7th May (25th Baisakh ) is celebrated as Tagore’s birthday by many of his admirers. Some of them, who know me as an ex student of Santiniketan (Tagore’s University), kindly send some nice  videos of Tagore to me. That really inspired me to write a few unique things  about Santiniketan school, which was  established by Tagore in 1901.

He was the first non European to get the Noble Prize for literature. Much of that money  he spent  for the development of  his dream school in Santiniketan.

Much of his early life was spent at upper class British schools where he often looked out through the open window and loved to see the blue sky, flying birds,passers by and green trees. Perhaps that brought a feeling of freedom in his mind. He decided to make a school where children will learn while being free in nature .He wanted to bring a new trend of education, where children will be  taught to be self reliant and helpful to others. Also  being  ready to develop a harmonious  attitude  towards the whole world, children should   know   about the  past glory of  ancient Vedic civilisation also.

In Santiniketan, except  science classes, all other classes were taught under the shade of green trees. Children loved to acquire different knowledge   while being in nature. Season changes, birds songs and fresh air enhanced  their imagination and made them feel one with nature, and one with all. They were encouraged to participate in many other activities ( like, games, music, gardening,nature’s study, even occasional visits to nearby tribal villages with teachers. That education stands apart  from today’s schooling system.Today children are more advanced with technology, more self centred, and love  to stay secured and comfortable in the  middle of four concrete walls.Tagore emphasised  universal brotherhood, also fought against cast system (which was very strong in India  that time ) through his literature and also through his schooling system. He realised, revolutionary change can come only through right education, which he described beautifully in these few lines of his poem from Gitanjali.

“Where the mind is without fear, and the head is held high, where the world has not been broken up into fragments, by narrow domestic walls. ….where words come out from the depth of truth. …Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake“

At the  entrance  gate of the town he founded was written in Sanskrit,  "yatra viswa bhavatyaka niram"  which means “here the whole  world  comes together  as returning to a nest.”  Being attracted to Tagore's  personality, many   great people  of  the world came  there and joined hands with  Tagore to bring universal  brotherhood  in Santiniketan .