In Search of Happiness

In Search of Happiness

Childhood for most people represents boundless joy and happiness. A sense of freedom and a state of flow much like a gurgling stream, shimmering down a mountain top. And children make everybody happy. That spontaneity is who we were at our core, undemanding and pure in heart. Happiness is part of our nature; be it a child’s laughter or the occasional tear-drop, brought a sense of simplicity to life for all to experience. The thrilling experience of just swinging from a tree, or running after butterflies on drenched meadows remain plastic moments, ever fresh in our memory. We were full of positive energy, and happy in each moment with whatever we had. 

But as we grew up, our stress came from facing life’s challenges, and our spontaneous positive energy level was mostly overcome with preoccupations of ‘making a life’. We started to feel irritated and unhappy with ever increasing frequency when life did not live up to our set expectations. And some of us startedto searchagain for our lost happiness, our lost paradise in different ways.   

We went to different places, tasted exquisite cuisine, collected costly things, to achievethat state of flow again. And the temporary satisfactionstayed just long enough for us to get a glimpse of our lost world - the sensations of touching, tasting or seeing lasted but a while, till the mind got bored, and the moment passed, drawing us towards a new stimulus. 

Though happiness to some extent depends on external factors, it mainly depends on our mental attitude and self-awareness. Circumstances are always neutral. Swami Yogananda says, “it is how we react to them; that make them seem either happy or sad”. 

We make our life with our own choices. If we decide to be happy then nobody can make us unhappy, and if we decide to be unhappy, then nobody can make us happy either. 

Unhappiness is compounded by our reactions to situations we perceive as negative – and this perception is constantly filtered and motivated by our uncontrolled desires, habits and karmic tendencies. We are caught in a loop of acting and feeling not by our conscious choice.

Spiritual masters recommend practicing meditation and yoga to connect the mind and body,and reflect on life as it is, not as we project it to be. This ability gives us the power to discriminate between a mirage projected over life and the experience of life itself, which is intrinsically joyful. And we become skillful in our response to circumstance, reacting moreintuitively than impulsively.  

Our dependency on the outside world to draw upon our intrinsic happiness can also be a problem. Swami Yogananda says “the more you depend upon conditions outside yourself for happiness, the less happiness you will experience” (Where There Is Light, p. 120). It is factually incorrect that big houses and luxurious items are a pre-requisite to being happy – in fact, sometimes it’s to the contrary.  The anxiety and worry that burns through people often comes from either gaining or losing material possessions of increasing value.

Happiness is also not an individual matter. To fill up my own cup of happiness, it is essential to give service to other needy souls.John. D. Rockefeller, the richest man of the world was physically, mentally and emotionally a miserable man. His biographer says, at the age of 53, he donated all his wealth and formed Rockefeller Foundation, to promote education and medical care throughout the world.By his generosity; he not only helped others but also led a more fulfilling life thereon forward. 

Joys and sorrows both are felt in our mind. We must always be careful to keep the mind engaged with ideas and feelings that lead to a positive place. Thoughts are actions of the mind; they generate energy and are a powerful influence on our life. So, like a good gardener, we must learn to be selective and weednegative thoughts and water only good tendencies like compassion, honesty, love, in us to evolve our consciousness. Then only flower of happiness can blossom to make us happy, and can spread its fragrance everywhere through our thoughts, action, and speech. 

Life is too valuable to be wasted on being negative, unhappy and lacking a deeper sense of the extraordinary and rare value of our consciousness. Life is impermanent, so whatever we can do, we should do it now. The truth is, sooner or later we all will remain only as memory in a few peoples’ minds. 

As the poet saint Kabir said, “When we come to this world, we cry and everybody smiles. Let us do such work in life that, when we leave, we smile and everyone else will cry”.

Edited by Prodeep Bose

Communication through Language

Communication through Language

Language is an instrument through which we express our feelings and communicate with others. It started and developed through human civilization.

Not only human beings, birds, animals, plants they also communicate through their own language.

Only difference is, human language is manmade and animals language is God made, animals are born with it.

In layman’s ear, barking of dogs may sound just the same. But from the same barking, a dog lover will understand whether the dog is hungry, angry, playful, or wants to be petted. Animals are most genuine in expressing their emotions. They do not have words, but their body language, tonal modulation, expression of eyes everything works together. Nobody taught them, they are born with it.

It is amazing to see how animals divide their duties and give alarm calls to each other. Crows and cocks are ever ready to give awaking morning call to others in early dawn. After some time other birds start chirping and get ready to fly away from their nests in search of sumptuous breakfast. 

Forest is the place, where big, middle size, small animals, birds all stay in harmony. But when there is an impending danger from human being or from some big animals, monkeys and crows start giving danger signals in top of their voice to all other animals. They play the role of a security guard.

Animals are very straight forward in dealing with their kids. I remember one scene, where a young monkey was adamant and was refusing to jump from one terrace to the other. Its mother just slapped the kid, and pulled him to do so. There no language was needed, just action was enough. 

Just before passing away my dear dog Lopsy gave me her last hug to express her gratitude. That touch was so genuine, that in a half a second she taught me the lesson of genuine love and sincere attitude of gratitude. That was the parting gift to me from my dear Lopsy.

Human language is more sophisticated, and it has been developed to express our feelings. It has also flourished in literatures through many ornamental expressions. To some extent, socio, cultural pattern also gets expressed through human language.

Urdu was most used language in Mughal court. It has a touch of royalty, courtesy, and very romantic too. Sound effect of Bengali language is quite soft which, to some extent may express Bengal’s easy going life style. The advantage of that is, when someone expresses strong emotions in Bengali, it does not sound too harsh, though from body language and tonal quality, reality may be revealed. If English is spoken with proper English accent, one may hear the rhythm of marching sound in it, which is similar to English man’s formal and disciplined life style. 

Though language can be an instrument for our easy communication, but it can be very powerful, strong, and more expressive if we combine our body language, with right tonal quality, appropriate choice of words all together with right intension. Communication becomes most effective when our intension, choice of words, and body language all work together in the same order. 

But often in today’s society, for different reasons, we do not express our feelings or intensions, in an honest way. We try to be diplomatic in using our language. It is good, when we do not use strong language to others, but it can be confusing when our language is very sweet, but intension is not be pure.

Language should not be blunt to hurt anybody. But communication can be effective only when our intension is pure, and our expression, choice of words, right tonal quality all are used in perfect balance and harmony. 

Our intensions and thoughts are very powerful, they create life in our language. Verbal language is just an instrument to manifest our inner feelings. It is truly said by some poet 

“when the heart full 

Silence is the best expression”.

Suggestions to handle desires efficiently

Suggestions to handle desires efficiently

“There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain it.”- George Bernard Shaw

It is so true. Often we loose interest in what we have, and run after something which we do not have or should not have. In both situations we are sad, unhappy and restless. Our health, relationships, position, and prosperity - everything changes in due course of time. To accept those obvious changes gracefully and with confidence, we need to develop calmness and clarity of mind.

The diverse experiences of life make us more alert. We learn to be mindful to see things with more clarity. It is through the ups and downs of life that we get an opportunity to grow spiritually and learn to take responsibility of our own destiny in our hands.

God has given us intelligence, ability and freedom of choice. But often instead of actualizing those God given virtues, we get stuck to one idea or another, and use all our senses to pursue it, and eventually get entangled in many misfortunes. Also our careless behavior can cause lot of pain among our dear ones. But just with mindful observation of one’s tendencies, and by evaluating the consequences before we act, many painful situations can be avoided.

We know our thoughts and actions create permanent tendencies in our mind. These tendencies (vritti in Sanskrit spiritual literature) shape our path. As LaoTzu says, if you live too much in the dark you become allergic to light, if you live too much in impurity you become allergic to purity.

Tendencies that create imbalance, by definition will bring temporary excitement, but will likely create lasting damage to our mind, physical body, and energy (subtle body), and in effect, our soul.  When we lose a sense of balance, our senses are excited and we often become aggressive. It is essential to train the mind, even as a child, when the mind is in an impressionable mold and can be shaped in positive way to have proper control over their senses, thoughts and actions.

Contentment is a great virtue. But often we set our targets based on others, and that makes us unhappy, frustrated and jealous.  We must remember everybody reaches their own goal, according to his own physical and mental capabilities, and the tendencies they have developed. As we all differ on the point of our capabilities and tendencies, our achievements cannot be the same. We may desire, put our best effort, and whatever is the outcome, we should learn to accept that with a happy and contented mind, without feeling jealous of others. Bringing simplicity, purity and sincerity in our thought, actions and effort, we can surely create a happy balanced state in life.  

Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh says, “If we suffer in the present moment, we should look deeply into the kind of desire that has made us suffer…our notion of happiness may be responsible for our suffering” (Ref: under the Banyan Tree, page 30.)

Without being obsessed by only with one idea, if we try to connect with the positive possibilities around us, we may find some way to transform our pain in a meaningful direction.

The life of a great theosophist, Anne Besant is one such example. She was greatly depressed to see her only child suffering from an incurable disease. After learning about the “karmic law” of eastern philosophy, she came to India and devoted her life working for the betterment of women and children. She also adopted an orphan boy, named J. D. Krishnamurthy, who became a great spiritual master, and also inspired many with his writings and oratory. Perhaps if she had not faced such a misfortune, her life might not have been as meaningful and consequential as it ended up and nor would she have been an extraordinary mother to an extraordinary son.

Intense suffering awakens our natural empathy. It makes us understand that suffering is not unique, it is being shared by millions other beings. When we feel others’ pain as ours own, it is the stepping stone to come out from self centeredness. And while it motivates us to do some good for other suffering souls, it also helps us to achieve a higher order of consciousness.

This natural empathy can also be realized through meditation. By relaxing the body, and concentrating on the breathing, or single pointedness - when mind calms down, and thoughts fall away, we realize that the life force which is keeping us alive is precisely the same life force also keeping everybody alive in this planet. That not just this life force, but this conscious awareness is a single shared entity. With an awareness of that divine spark in us and in all, we realize that though we have a separate body and individual thoughts, but we are not just body and thoughts, but interconnected spiritual beings. Behind the body-mind complex, behind the nervous system or psychic system, there is one infinite spirit (Atman) which is ever pure and ever free. And that is our true nature.

With realization of the Divine within, we step out from our tiny ego, and feel one with all.

Shankaryacharya says in his Upanishad commentary, “take away the Atman from the world, the world becomes a zero”, and as soon as we put ‘one’ (Atman) before zero, everything becomes valuable. This awareness of the Atman makes us capable to establish happy relations with others, to be tolerant and to be compassionate.

Today’s high pressure world is breaking our psychic and nervous system, but can be conquered only by the strength of inner spirituality. But to achieve anything, effort is required, and it is worth making that effort for this cause alone.

 Edited by Prodeep Bose

Simple steps to help us and others

Simple steps to help us and others

In life, we are always in relationship with ourselves, with others, and with life’s different situations. But how we relate with life, is very important. Whether we connect with life with fear and aggression; or with love, compassion and wisdom; that makes all the difference in the quality of our lives. 

Spiritual practice is also a relationship. It teaches us to relate with life, in a more positive, constructive and loving way. 

We are all small parts of this whole “universe”, limited in time and space. But generally our tendency is to see our existence, our thoughts, and feelings as separate from the rest of the world.  This optical delusion of consciousness restricts us to our personal desires and our affections only for a few persons nearest to us. But unless we come out from our little selves, and embrace all with loving kindness, we cannot be truly happy. 

Albert Einstein once described spiritual life as, “our task must be to free ourselves from this prison, by widening our circle of understanding and compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty”. The same view is expressed by all enlightened souls of the world. Swami Vivekananda said each soul is potentially divine; we just have to recognize it, and try to live in whatever means we can. 

But today we give more importance to our separateness, to our individuality rather than our integral nature. Today for our limited and myopic vision, we are losing loving connection between each other, and worse is we are losing connection to our spiritual values in life.  

Today our children are being raised by day care centers and television. Their tender minds are being molded to value superficial glamour, and money more, than to build up values in life.  “If children are brought up with love and good values, they can contribute a lot to the society. But we create a generation of discontented, wounded, needy individuals” (Jack Kornfield, A Path With Heart, p. 292).  

As the society is promoting more the culture of mindless consumerism, our lives are also being cluttered up more with confusions and miseries. 

We are all feeling suffocated with life’s pressure, but do not know how to get out of it. The real dilemma is, we neither can swallow the present situation, nor can we reject it. But at the same time, very sincerely we all want to experience peace, joy and tranquility of spiritual life. 

Everything is possible in life, because there is always hope and new possibilities in life. As sun rays dispel the darkness of night like that, wisdom from enlightened souls also dispels ignorance from human minds and shows the path of true joy and happiness. In Bhagvad Gita it is said when there is a decline in dharma (righteousness) and rise in adharma (unrighteousness), then I body myself forth. For the protection of the virtuous, for the destruction of the wicked, and for the establishment of dharma, I come into being in every age (chapter IV/verse 7). 

Great spiritual personalities like, Krishna, Christ, Rama and Buddha appeared on this earth from time to time to teach us how to live, and laid some spiritual guidelines for us to follow. They are not passive statements. They are like scientific formulas, capable to bring magical change in life, if they are followed with sincere regularity. 

Those simple formulas are, not to kill, not to steal, not to lie, not to misbehave sexually or through harmful speech, and not to use intoxicant substances which causes loss of awareness and makes us careless.  

Non killing means reverence for life. We must try to protect and respect every form of life. Non stealing means, not to take others property without their consent, it also implies not to rob the treasures of our mother earth to satisfy our selfish greed. By not lying we develop our voice of compassion, understanding and justice. Fourthly our intimate relations, family life can glow with joy and happiness if we restrain from misbehavior in sexuality. Lastly by standing away from intoxicant substances, we can always be alert and consciously awake to take right action in all circumstances of life. 

When life blossoms like a fragrant flower with all good qualities in it, it spreads its values, peace, joy and wisdom everywhere. That is the goal of life. Life is not to take but to give. Not by taking, but by giving, life gets full, and helps others to be full also. 

“The sky rains kisses in showers

The earth returns them in flowers”. 

                                         (Tagore, Lekhan) 

We should come out from our little cocoon and try to help our fellow travelers of this troubled world. Our love and compassion should not be restricted only to our family and friends; even it should help our enemies to reap the blessings of peace.

A New Year’s Resolution

A New Year’s Resolution

As moments roll into minutes, and minutes into hours and days, gradually, our years pass away, punctuated by annual resolutions. The focus of our resolutions align to our natural inclinations and needs from childhood, adolescence, and youth, and finally, when old age peeps through our gray hairs, we wonder; what did I gather, what did I resolve to do, and what did I achieve and contribute through this lifetime? 

Every stage of life has its own desires. They may be a colorful toys in childhood, a speedy motorbike in adolescence, or a beautiful wealthy partner in our youth. But unfortunately after achieving anything we set out to, we soon we get bored, and need another target in life to keep us engaged. So the real question is – are our resolutions driven by the attainment of our desires or a desire to evolve as a human being? The marathon of life goes on, one leg at a time. And many believe that it doesn’t even come to a halt with our death, because to fulfill our unfulfilled desires, we reappear in physical form in this world, till we taste the freedom of     desireless-ness.

So for a change, we may experiment with a new resolution in this upcoming New Year. And that resolution should be, not to run after anything.  Just to be relaxed, but attentive, not to be angry, not to worry, and not to get agitated at all by any situation, however provocative it may be. 

Though such a resolution could be rejected by many as not a resolution, it is perhaps the most difficult resolution of all. To achieve a state in which the experience of being alive as a conscious human being is not punctuated by objective achievement, is one that can be very interesting and adventurous. It is a way to know ourselves and this world as we are. 

Every moment creeps in our life silently to give a new message, to sing a new song. But mostly not being relaxed and attentive, we miss to hear that tune. The tune which emerges from the eternal flow of life sings the song of life’s impermanence. That song inspires and teaches us to be dispassionate, to loosen our attachment, and tells us that, we own nothing in this world. On the other hand each and every blow of life gives us signal to be alert and attentive in each moment, to treat every relationship, every soul with sincere love and dignity, who ever touches our life. We can really respect and value each life, only when we are aware of life’s impermanence. But mostly being unaware of life’s truth, we take life for granted, and for personal gratification of our desires, we use our relationship with human beings, animals and plants in not a very dignified way. As a result, life becomes stressful for us and for our dear ones also. 

Life is an ongoing process of learning. If we train our mind to be relaxed, attentive, and observant, then from each and every moment, and from every life event, we get an opportunity to learn something about ourselves. Just through the observation of our reaction towards outside stimuli, we can gain insight into ourselves and lead to self-empowerment. 

When we are self-empowered, our mind becomes unprejudiced and devoid of any preconceived notions. We are able to see things as they really are, and think and act calmly to any situation without a pre-defined tendency to act in accustomed ways. To be cheerful, happy, and connected to experiences that the present moment brings, is our natural state. It doesn’t require an accomplishment or a difficult task to achieve it but a vigilance mindset against falling into prejudice so we don’t allow any situation to pull us down and rob us of a state of engaged joyfulness that is our birthright. 

Only through the constant practice of mediation, can we learn to stay cheerful and above conflict – with the external world as well as ourselves. And to remain, attentive and aware is a task of utmost importance. Through mindfulness, we can turn each moment into an insight. The cosmic energy drawn through our silent meditation, when applied to daily action transforms the mundane into something holy and beautiful. And that leads to selfless service, which in turn makes us free from karmic bondage.

So in this New Year, our resolution could be to draw upon our inner strength and nurture it through the active practice of silence. Silence unfolds the full value of each moment, and in doing so, we find compassion and the desire to be helpful to each other. Such a resolution has the power to make life joyful not just for us but for all sentient beings. In this way, we may leave our permanent footprint in this impermanent world.

Edited by Prodeep Bose

Action without Expectation

The famous verse (sloka) of Bagavad Gita says “your right is to work only; but never to the fruits there of. May you not be motivated by the fruits of actions; nor let your attachment be towards inaction.” (Chapter II/verse 47).

This is a very profound statement, which can be justified and explained from many different angles. 

In our ancient scriptures, and especially in Bhagavad Gita, it is again and again mentioned that, the goal of human life is to evolve from lower to a higher state, from material level to a spiritual level, and finally through the realization of our immortal self within, we should be free from all bondages. This process of evolution continues through our birth and rebirth. From child hood to our old age, we are all ways busy in doing different types of actions. It is said that, in life when we meet all challenges and perform all our worldly duties, with honest sincerity, for well being for all, and without any expectation for its fruits, we gradually progress towards our goal. Work may vary from individual to individual, according to our previous karmic account, but how we perform our prescribed duties in this life, and with what attitude, that is very important. 

Our universal prayer for perfect action in life is beautifully expressed in these few lines of Tagore 

“Give me the strength lightly to bear my joys and sorrows

Give me the strength to make my love fruitful in service

Give me the strength to raise my mind high above daily trifles

And give me the strength to surrender my strength to thy will with love” 

To make life meaningful, we must be attentive and must know the “Law of karma”; which means, how I want to feel tomorrow, it much depends, on how I use my life today. 

When we act with expectations, with hope and with fear, our mind gets disturbed and restless. If something gets uneasy or hurts, we immediately change the track, and look for alternatives. 

Feeling of expectations, hope and fear comes from mental poverty, that we lack something. With the feeling of constant want, we cannot be relaxed. It also ties us down to karmic bondage, for which we have to come back again and again to fulfill our endless desires.  

Life is a mystery. With our limited vision and understanding, we do not know what will be the outcome from our life’s events. After a big disappointment we may think, that is the end of the story. But we never know, it may be just the opposite. It may open up a new positive chapter in life. Temporary loss may turn out to be a greater gain in future. In this world, even in our life also, nothing happens by chance. Every event has a cause behind it. Everything is governed by the “Law of cause and effect” theory. And we must know that, ultimately whatever happens with divine will, it happens for good. 

In our temporary life, while we keep our selves busy with many activities, it is essential for us to remember a few things. Whatever we do, we should do with full concentration, and with a calm and cheerful mind. When mind is calm, composed, and stable, it can focus much better on any given problem; and can find out the right way to deal with it. With agitated and unstable mind, confusion grows further. 

It is also a wise policy to be always aware of karmic law, which means whatever we give, it comes back in many fold in our life. Awareness of this universal law (cause and effect theory) may stop us from doing many wrong things. With strong ego and with selfish attitude when we act, actually we invite more troubles for our own life. An ego rider’s temporary joyride sooner or later surely gets crushed under the wheel of divine law. 

Generally for all our misfortunes, we blame others, and make life more complicated for us and for others too. 

Life can be stress free, if we learn to deal with each challenge of life with unselfish sincere effort, and with whole hearted, intelligent attention. 

After that, whatever may be the outcome of our action, pleasant or unpleasant; we can accept it gracefully as God’s gift.

Communication for extending good will, not setting expectations

Communication is perhaps the most skillful act within human relationships. It is supported by the pillars of mutual love, respect, and healthy compassion for each other. It also strengthens our understanding of interdependence and teaches us to take care of ourselves and others around us. 

Before we start communicating with others, it is essential that we first communicate with our own heart to find out what feelings are being nurtured there, and with what intensity.  We may find out that our heart is open with unselfish love, joy and respect for all.Or we may find it is drying up with bitterness of hatred, anger or feelings of revenge. It is very important to observe our internal moods. Our behavior, actions and speech all are born out of the internal chemistry of our mind, and our communications are but a reflection of their color and quality.

So, if we really want to channel our communication skills towards extending good will, we must first clear up all the negative thoughts and feelings from our inner self. Otherwise our personal frustrations will spill over others, and the personality we project through communications will not be a pleasant one at all. Swami Yogananda said, the human mind is the most powerful broadcasting machine. So with full awareness if we always keep our mind positive, kind and respectful, then only successful communication of the heart is possible. Today with the help of most advanced communications devices like computers, mobile phones, TV, and radio, we can receive and send our ideas to any part of the world within a few seconds. But while we can improve our business communications by being ‘always on’ for conference calls and with other modern technology, we find that meaningful interactions between individuals in family, society, among friends and neighbors hood has gone down sharply. Relationships between husband and wife, parents and children are falling apart because we are too busy using communications technology that connects our words to the wired world but we have no time or patience to connect our words to our own heart and hear and share each other’s feelings in meaningful ways beyond the superficial – a like on facebook is not the same as a hug and a chat in the real world. It is an escape from a meaningful expression of our heart.

The modes of communications today make us more self-centered, more rigid, not so much on principals, but driven by the projection of our ego – perhaps because we constantly feel the need to have to re-establish ourselves through social media. This degradation and commercialization of human communications is one of the causes of our deterioration of relationships in present day. With all these modern means of communications, there is nothing left of us to communicate. The capacity to understand and express loving adjustment, and a quiet interplay within human relationships led by our hearts is being hijacked by a multitude of shallow transactional communications driven by a desire for self-   aggrandizement.  And in this state of affairs, relationships can only be a painful experience for us, leaving little scope for evolving the greatest role of communications between individuals – to be a mirror for our hearts. 

An alert and responsible person knows how not to be trapped by the constant meddling of modern communications technologies with the evolution of one’s heart. Happiness stands on the ground of understanding, sincerity and kind words. And that does not mean that we always have to agree with each other. But a stable minded and truthful person knows when to speak, how to speak and when to stay actively silent. 

Famous Zen master ThichNhatHanh says, to restore communication, the practice of compassionate listening and practice of loving speech are necessary. With calm and unprejudiced mind we should listen to our dear ones, without judging or criticizing them, and just let them speak out to lessen their sufferings. After that, if we want to point out some mistake or misunderstanding, we can do it with a calm voice, and with loving and kind words. 

Life is not permanent; it is like a passing shadow. We are all like moving stars, ready to move away from each other to some unknown destination at any moment. If this is the truth of life, then why not try to make each moment beautiful and wholesome with love, forgiveness and compassion? 

So whatever we can give, a loving encouraging word, a smile, a helping hand, we should give it right now. If we cannot catch this moment now, then life will only be full with repentance later. Tibetan Buddhist master Sogyal Rinpoche said, mind full of compassion purifies our past negative karma. So while helping others to communicate, we also help ourselves to clear out our past karma. Great formula on communication was given by an unknown Tibetan saint, and says,

“Give all profit and gain to other

Take all loss and defeat on yourself”.

Edited by 

Prodeep Bose